So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
