I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
