All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
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the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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