I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
