she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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