Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
