Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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