Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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