Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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