Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she looked like the before picture.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
