We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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