I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
