oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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