OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
is it fun? or sober?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
