I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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