I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you would pick up someone in the library
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
