I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize