Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sorry about my life...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
