u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
