it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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