we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize