Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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