Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
