i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
