I hope my margaritas pass through security.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
