Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
