I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
