I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
