Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
