the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
