Plan B is the new Plan A
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
