when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
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I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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