Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse

  (914): View more from New York

  so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though

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  (443): so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse (914): so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though http://tfl.nu/1ux5
  Replies (11) Good night (4156) Bad night (478)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I think you know the answer.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How can I marinade myself in Vodka?

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  (248): What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks. (810): I think you know the answer. (248): How can I marinade myself in Vodka? http://tfl.nu/cvlx
  Replies (12) Good night (3768) Bad night (611)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me

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  (904): I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me http://tfl.nu/myzn
  Replies (28) Good night (983) Bad night (6003) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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  (814): there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party http://tfl.nu/p535
  Replies (17) Good night (5649) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?

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  (585): she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year? http://tfl.nu/9o4d
  Replies (58) Good night (9757) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.

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  (413): You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago. http://tfl.nu/l8io
  Replies (10) Good night (5804) Bad night (1082)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer

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  (702): I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer http://tfl.nu/pk2a
  Replies (12) Good night (3988) Bad night (1204) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.

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  (717): fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/l3zn
  Replies (40) Good night (5402) Bad night (1138) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...

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  (541): She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets... http://tfl.nu/jeys
  Replies (28) Good night (6691) Bad night (1658) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

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  (226): This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon http://tfl.nu/4pbx
  Replies (43) Good night (13820) Bad night (1929) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.

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  (508): When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned. http://tfl.nu/8l5x
  Replies (11) Good night (1050) Bad night (3277) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.

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  (615): i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver. http://tfl.nu/x8br
  Replies (9) Good night (3524) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday

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  (414): Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday http://tfl.nu/gou8
  Replies (1) Good night (1252) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!

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  (904): I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms! http://tfl.nu/g8iv
  Replies (3) Good night (917) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created

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  (210): With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created http://tfl.nu/4ngz
  Replies (5) Good night (529) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt

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