what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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