Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
