no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
