There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
50% drunk capacity currently
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
