Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
