i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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