I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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