Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
