Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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