she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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