PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
