ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
