i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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