My room smells like vodka and shame
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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