Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
