so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
