literally had 100 drinks last night.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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