I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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