there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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