People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
