Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
