Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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