What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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