she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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