i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
