so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
