Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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