I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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