"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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