If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
