She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
