Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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