at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
