I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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