i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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