I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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