Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
