Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
