Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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