yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
