Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize